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What do most of us want?

I don't like to generalise, there's always going to be an exception but l think it's fair to say that MOST of us just want to matter. We want attention in some form and want our voice and opinion to be heard.

Many times when I speak to people this subject crops up.

A lot of the time deep unhappiness grows from not feeling like you are relevant. Not feeling like you matter to someone. It could be in a relationship, at work, within a friendship but so much of what we do on a daily basis often feels insignificant, if we don't think it matters.

I'm going to tell you what I mean in a couple of different scenarios.

You message a friend because you need to talk. You know they've read your message, but they don't reply straight away. You start to think you've offended them or they are annoyed with you. You then go down the rabbit hole in your head....all you want is a quick chat but now you think you've upset your friend or they are upset with you....

Your work colleagues never include you. Whenever you speak in meetings, nothing is actioned. You have amazing ideas and input but no-one ever asks you what YOU think and you are too scared to pipe up in case they laugh at your ideas. At lunch people don't talk to you. You feel like if you didn't go into work no-one would even miss you.....

Your kids literally ignore everything you say. You try and encourage them to eat at the table but they just want to eat in their rooms or play xbox. You don't feel like they would even miss you if you weren't there. Probably only when their dinner isn't cooked or washing isn't done.

Of course, we don't feel like this all of the time. But now and again a wave of isolation, loneliness or not feeling included, loved or wanted will strike and cut you to the bone.

I just want you to know that it does happen to most people and of course it shouldn't but you do matter. You are important and people are generally so wrapped up in their own shit, they don't have a clue that you are feeling that way.

I'm not writing this to give you a fix all solution. I'm writing it to say that you aren't really alone and that I bet there are people out there who you do matter to. They may not tell you everyday or notice when you are feeling sad or lonely. So maybe we can break this chain by saying Hi to a stranger now and again. Liking and commenting a post on Social media that we relate to. Buying someone a coffee at work and just asking how they are doing. We may not have complete freedom to do exactly what we want right now, but we can still connect with people in plenty of different ways so they know that they matter and they now that their voice does count.

Much love x

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