Change is scary as f**k, but it's the one thing you can be certain of in your life.
Almost exactly one year ago, i knew my marriage was likely to be coming to an end. Of course I was distraught, 22 years with the same person is beyond comfortable. It's something you take for granted and sometimes just get lazy thinking that things will be the same forever. We do it in relationships and in jobs, get comfy and get lazy.
I can't blame one person for my marriage ending, it's easy to do that but the truth is we all have to take responsibility even when it's way easier to blame someone else.
I never hated my Ex Husband or wanted my marriage to end but sometimes things just aren't fixable.
It's easy and the most natural thing to be scared of that change. That habit of being in a comfortable, easy relationship where you have a friend, a partner, someone to confide in, when that comes to an end and you feel broken. Some people have to deal with long term unhappiness (or worse) before their relationship ends and I was lucky that for me that wasn't the case.
But the reality is...........EVERYTHING comes to an end. Nothing is forever.
I hate to break it it you but even the good things in your life will end one day, but so do the bad things!
Those painful moments that you think will break you, also will end and the sun will rise just like it has for millions of years.
I have learned so much about myself and life in general over the past two years, things I would never have learned if I had stayed locked in my old life, in my own head and in the little comfortable bubble.
I've learned that to find fulfilment (especially when you are childless), you must help others!
It's not enough to fulfil your own needs, that soon becomes empty and meaningless. Helping someone else and seeing things click into place for them is about the most wonderful feeling in the world for me personally.
I've also learned that I am the only one who can control my own happiness. The moment you allow someone else to be in charge of what makes you happy, you lose control of your life. It's great to have someone in your life who challenges you and adds that sparkle and joy, whether that be a friend, partner or child but you have to be able to find joy in life yourself and be at peace with the fact that you cannot control what happens to you, you can only control how you react to it.
I want to tell anyone out there who has lost hope at finding happiness, who feels alone or stuck in a pattern of stress and unhappiness that only YOU can get yourself out of that situation.
One day I woke up and I knew in my heart that my Marriage was over and decided that i would be OK.
Another day I woke and decided that I would be happy.
Two years ago I woke up and decided that i would become healthier and start a business for me......
There was never the perfect time to have my marriage fall apart, or become healthier or start a business or be happy.
There never is the perfect time or day for any of that. The only time for that, is when you decide to make it happen.
Don't wake up in 10 years and decide you shoulda, woulda, coulda done things differently. Decide today to be happier, be healthier and live your life for you! Because if we all did that the world would be a better place.
Put on your own oxygen mask first before you help someone else....
Much love x